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In The Media

A Ruined Silk Blouse Is Like a Startup Bankruptcy

by Larry Chiang on March 18, 2017

By Larry Chiang
Abandonment. This is a problem in the startup community. PG speaks to this in his essay default alive or default dead. 
But we do not call the problem what the #cs183abc pattern for what it is. “Assignment for Benefit of Creditors” = the pattern. 

I’ll save you from the reams of legal paper work, #cs183abc takes to read. So, let us attack understanding startup bankruptcy like it’s a ruined silk blouse at a sxsw VIP reception. 

Irina Litchfield (@IrinaLitchfield)
@LarryChiang saved me from horrible stain situation. Some sauce dropped on my silk blouse #duckBk appeared with magical solution.


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Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)


Irina Litchfield (@IrinaLitchfield)
1-stain on shirt 2-terror 3- @LarryChiang rubbing something on my shirt 4-clean shirt = happy me 5-everyone is thrilled #duckBk


So like many venture capitalist explained events, it is not two steps or even five. The details matter in 
#duckBk. Like many VC’s who act a lot like #C3PO*, we like to add sexy details**. Let us parse out the genius board member maneuvers via “company saving protocols”***


** see IrinaLitchfield‘s ab comments. Very distracting.

*** #R2D2vc
* C3PO sucks. He’s tall pretty and shiny. But, utterly useless. And he is a manners protocol droid who shows up to meetings 15 minutes late, guaranteed. 

Prematurely leaving a party because your silk blouse is ruined is asinine. 

HOW TO CLEAN A SILK BLOUSE 
-1- stay at the middle of the party. 
-2- do not retreat to a bathroom for sink access
-3- bring water TO the silk blouse.
-4- encroach the blouse but ask and confirm permission.
-5- reconfirm permission as witnessed by at least 2 party attendees.
-6- gather and retain witness iPhone numbers
-7- read and guess the stain
-8- I saw it was orange cream sauce from the chicken satay on a stick. 
-9- ask Courtney (waitress) for 5 dry ice cubes and a white foodservice towel
-10- DONT USE THE BLACK COCKTAIL NAPKINS because like a newbie MBA VC associate with board observer right, the black cocktail napkin will actually do more blouse damage than it will help.
-11- Spoon. 
-12- I actually spooned Irina Litchfield because there was so much sauce a spoon removed 90%
-13- take the ice cubes and put them in the napkin to chill the remaining 10% satay sauce. 
-14- have the silk blouse top owner hold 5-cube pack of ice. 
-15- Make sure you have witnesses, because it’s about to get intimate, emotional and climactic. It’s a roller coaster ride when you’re ducking blouse loss & chargeoff because it was and is such a nice blouse. 
-16- I can’t stress the witness portion enough. Stain removal requires invasive access to the entire blouse.
-17- Make sure that sweeping brush strokes never linger on any area. We are getting rid of a stain that cover sensitive areas. 
-18-locate silk to wash the cold area silk on silk. I could not locate a tie (silk ties are perfect stain removers) so I just used dri-fit. I was wearing dry-fit at a fin Tech event. 
-19- take a bow. The stain is gone
-20- I screamed *Ancient Chinese Secret all TemperaCHEER*
-21- all the under 30 kids just heard cheer and completely missed the dry cleaning joke advertisement reference. 

21-steps

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Not magic two steps

Not A, B, C
Not #CS183
#cs183b
#cs183c

21 steps. 
image4.JPG
A B C and 34 steps between a to “Z”
Bankruptcy that is premature is Asse9 too!
Asse9 Austin Secret (@asse9)
Screenshots @LarryChiang. BK’s are #asse9#duckBk #sxsw
Sketch of two (2) owls credit @iamdevloper 
34 #cs183s‘ = #cs183a34z @StanfordEng pic.twitter.com/OGDQjnorad


Does this oversimplification seem familiar?!?
image1.JPG
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
VC’s drop #logicBomb, a “scrap of code that triggers a malevolent event when certain events take place.” #duckBk rollingstone.com/tv/recaps/mr-r… pic.twitter.com/S5DvkLBaCt


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Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Countermeasures to the accidental VC #logicBomb (that directly causes “BK”)
#duckBK
Please #duck9‘s
Yes @duck9 🐥🐳🐼
🐥🐳🐼 twitter.com/larrychiang/st…


Download the countermeasure

Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
😎
A $2-6mm line of credit (insurance policy) should 1st Republic / SVB / Square “call the debt” 👌[thus, forcing Bkdissolution] #Vdebt
🐳 twitter.com/larrychiang/st…

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