By Larry Chiang
Abandonment. This is a problem in the startup community. PG speaks to this in his essay default alive or default dead.
But we do not call the problem what the #cs183abc pattern for what it is. “Assignment for Benefit of Creditors” = the pattern.
I’ll save you from the reams of legal paper work, #cs183abc takes to read. So, let us attack understanding startup bankruptcy like it’s a ruined silk blouse at a sxsw VIP reception.
So like many venture capitalist explained events, it is not two steps or even five. The details matter in #duckBk. Like many VC’s who act a lot like #C3PO*, we like to add sexy details**. Let us parse out the genius board member maneuvers via “company saving protocols”***
* C3PO sucks. He’s tall pretty and shiny. But, utterly useless. And he is a manners protocol droid who shows up to meetings 15 minutes late, guaranteed.
Prematurely leaving a party because your silk blouse is ruined is asinine.
HOW TO CLEAN A SILK BLOUSE
-1- stay at the middle of the party.
-2- do not retreat to a bathroom for sink access
-3- bring water TO the silk blouse.
-4- encroach the blouse but ask and confirm permission.
-5- reconfirm permission as witnessed by at least 2 party attendees.
-6- gather and retain witness iPhone numbers
-7- read and guess the stain
-8- I saw it was orange cream sauce from the chicken satay on a stick.
-9- ask Courtney (waitress) for 5 dry ice cubes and a white foodservice towel
-10- DONT USE THE BLACK COCKTAIL NAPKINS because like a newbie MBA VC associate with board observer right, the black cocktail napkin will actually do more blouse damage than it will help.
-12- I actually spooned Irina Litchfield because there was so much sauce a spoon removed 90%
-13- take the ice cubes and put them in the napkin to chill the remaining 10% satay sauce.
-14- have the silk blouse top owner hold 5-cube pack of ice.
-15- Make sure you have witnesses, because it’s about to get intimate, emotional and climactic. It’s a roller coaster ride when you’re ducking blouse loss & chargeoff because it was and is such a nice blouse.
-16- I can’t stress the witness portion enough. Stain removal requires invasive access to the entire blouse.
-17- Make sure that sweeping brush strokes never linger on any area. We are getting rid of a stain that cover sensitive areas.
-18-locate silk to wash the cold area silk on silk. I could not locate a tie (silk ties are perfect stain removers) so I just used dri-fit. I was wearing dry-fit at a fin Tech event.
-19- take a bow. The stain is gone
-20- I screamed *Ancient Chinese Secret all TemperaCHEER*
-21- all the under 30 kids just heard cheer and completely missed the dry cleaning joke advertisement reference.
Not magic two steps
Not A, B, C
A B C and 34 steps between a to “Z”
Bankruptcy that is premature is Asse9 too!
Does this oversimplification seem familiar?!?