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<\/a><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\nBy Larry Chiang<\/a><\/p>\n So I get a lot of people that say, “My foreign friend needs credit”<\/p>\n I laugh.<\/p>\n It makes me feel extremely smart (even though my IQ = 88<\/a>) to know that the laws that govern and rule over our 55 states is based on 1970s flavored laws. Yes, I just said ’55’ because I annexed Canada and New Mexico. You say New Mexico is already a state?! You see, that is just how fast I work!!!<\/p>\n Hi-Larry-Ass<\/p>\n It makes me laugh more because rich VCs have the same problem.<\/p>\n Wah! Wah, Wah, I am a founding investor in Yahoo and Google but can’t lease a Tesla<\/p>\n Look here, my international friend… I will help you.<\/p>\n I do what I can to be helpful. Sometimes, helping people helps me even though a lot of foreign people dont really say thanks. I got a really good testimonial from a foreign VC who ended up going to stanford business school. He said in a tweet, “Who needs Stanford Business School when you have larry chiang”. They weren’t really foreign because they were Australian.<\/p>\n hahahahhaaaa<\/p>\n Anyway, here is how you as a foreign person can hack credit.<\/p>\n This is VERY VERY very similar to the question: “Larry Chiang, how do I date a supermodel too?”<\/p>\n It’s hard to date a supermodel unless you are currently dating a supermodel.<\/p>\n This catch 22 is tough. Its like getting Venture Capital. You don’t get offered a term sheet until you either don’t need it or are knee deep in other term sheets.<\/p>\n Beating catch 22s are hard.<\/p>\n I like the other answers (on Quora<\/a>) but I will add the following ideas to beat the chicken-egg problem of credit:<\/p>\n 1) BE SLUTTY.<\/p>\n Bank at least two banks. Having everything in one place is a little too monogamous. Get a checking account in one location and a saving account somewhere else. This way, you get a bank to want you and commit to them. You commit to them by having them offer you a skimpy $500 line of credit<\/p>\n 2) Pre-Pay Your Post-Paid Cell Phone.<\/p>\n 3) Write your Congressman and ask them to support the “Larry Chiang Electronic Credit Score Protection Act”<\/p>\n If that Congressman calls me or says hi to me at the next mixer, I will personally get you and your foreign butt to a FICO over 700.<\/p>\n Remember, even if you can’t vote, write a letter anyway. Remember, the paper is mightier than the email.<\/p>\n 4) Tease them.<\/p>\n Banks like to be teased. Supermodels like to be teased. I don’t argue with why they want to be teased, I just do what works.<\/p>\n Show a bank that you can play well with another bank and they will want to woo you too. “Play” with another bank by paying back a loan. If you can’t get a regular unsecured loan, get a loan on a securitized asset. A good example is to do this with a car that you already own. Ask a bank to borrow $1500 against a car you already own. Hopefully, it is worth about 90k, but it must be worth over 3k.<\/p>\n Banks like supermodels behave in a hive mind. Remember, thinking and deciding on new people is hard work. Banging the person who just banged a friend-of-a-friend is a no-brainer.<\/p>\n If you’re my pastor reading this… I meant finger bang.<\/p>\n 5) Tease them some more.<\/p>\n This idea will cost you extra — $600.02 to be exact. The good news is that this helps me. The bad news is that it takes me about 5 hrs to do this and you get half your money back.<\/p>\n There is more bad news. It comes with a picture of my face on your credit card.<\/p>\n If you are foreign and do not understand humor…, I am not JOKING. I am being 100% serious.<\/p>\n In America we are playful. It is because we have never lost a war and are innocent. Our Nanking was never raped. Our islands were never pillaged. Heck, 70% casualties came from friendly fire when we had an argument about when to free black people. This article is meant to be playful. Plus, no one else knows more about credit so you don’t have a choice but to read it from the same source as US Congressman, Senators and Presidents.<\/p>\n Credit Disputes are to be MAILED to these three agencies<\/p>\n Experian<\/strong> Equifax Information Services<\/strong> TransUnion <\/strong> I will even help you draft the letter.<\/p>\n Email me larry@ d u c k 9<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n wanna make me happy. What A Super Model Can Teach a Harvard MBA About Credit<\/a><\/strong> *** BONUS ***<\/p>\n a party invite for you…:<\/p>\n What a Supermodel Can Teach a Harvard MBA<\/a><\/p>\n
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