{"id":16262,"date":"2022-05-09T17:21:27","date_gmt":"2022-05-09T17:21:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/?p=16262"},"modified":"2022-05-09T13:26:33","modified_gmt":"2022-05-09T17:26:33","slug":"epiphany-phase","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/epiphany-phase\/","title":{"rendered":"Epiphany Phase"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">by The vagina whisperer&nbsp;<meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/p>\n<div dir=\"ltr\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/p>\n<div dir=\"ltr\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/p>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">29-31 year olds\u2026<\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">\n<div dir=\"ltr\"><span style=\"background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);\"><br \/><\/span><\/div>\n<div dir=\"ltr\">\n<div><font color=\"#000000\"><span style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);\">https:\/\/www.YouTube.com\/watch?v=<\/span><\/font>8V-KE7Jh35o<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Vagina whisperer can feel you know! Tell me how many of these bullet points hit home<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>-1- Sudden epiphany and rediscovery of religion&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Any religious thang\u2026, and heaping servings of it. Doesn\u2019t matter if it\u2019s woo woo crystals or a cult that\u2019s into <i><b>Authentic Relating<\/b><\/i><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Austin Stone Worship is packed with single women for their 9:00 service. And more packed for our 11:00 service&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>-2- Hymen reattached<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>You lost your Cherry over a decade ago, but attempt to reattach our hymen we must.&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>No sex&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>No sex unless it\u2019s space shuttle intercourse. Of course the <b>age old<\/b> strategy, the next guy you have sex with you\u2019re going to marry, works<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>What\u2019s Space Shuttle fornication!?<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Seemingly perfect sex that checks ALL boxes. And then you cry. And then it blows up in your face. &nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Checking boxes never gets your box to climax, but then that\u2019s why NASA cancelled the Space Shuttle&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>-3- Cant compete with 23 yo<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Sexual Market Value, bankruptcies&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>-4- Dating 32-26 yo men.&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Not possible bc 35 yo men with a great job and stored wealth can be dating 24 yo females.&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Compete harder\u2026, don\u2019t just throw in the towel<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>-5- Feminism is females destroying girls 23-27<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>An older woman whom you\u2019ve never met wants you barren. And discourages the fertilization of our remaining eggs.&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Women kinda hate women<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>For example, do you even have one female friend 5-8 years younger than you?!<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>-6- Would you like an egg?<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Fertilize&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Notice who you make wear a condom and whom you do not.&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Freezing eggs is vapor ware.&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>-7- old Maid<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>I think it\u2019s spinster<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>-8- over Scheduled<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Being alone even for one night&#8217;s a big no no, so you\u2019re back-to-back to back.&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Getting a beta male in orbit helps your own perceived Sexual Market Value.&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>-9- Yoga for facial rejuvenation&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Yoga is group exercise which is required.&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>-10- Stop Drinking So Much<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>-11- black pill for sex<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Sex used to be enjoyable. After swallowing a black pill, the vagina is closed. The black pill is&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>&#8211; \u201cI\u2019m too busy to be dating\u201d<\/div>\n<div>&#8211; \u2018I don\u2019t know the obesity metric\u2019<\/div>\n<div>&#8211; Food is love, too&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div>&#8211; Dry pussy because I don\u2019t drink water<\/div>\n<div>&#8211; At least I\u2019m popular on dating apps after I shave off 3 years and shave off my clam beard<\/div>\n<div>&#8211; I\u2019m taking a pole dancing class just in case<\/div>\n<div>&#8211; I could buy boobs if I wanted to<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>The black pill for sex is a quasi abstinence where you\u2019re sending wildly mixed messages\u2026 Except for when you\u2019re on vacation to Austin in which case you\u2019re a slut on vacay<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>And vacation sex does not count towards your notch count&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>-12- So Woo Woo Wu Wu&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Reiki healing<\/div>\n<div>Tarot reading<\/div>\n<div>Anything as an elixir&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>-13- Making Men Beg For Puddy<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>And then losing respect and attraction once they do beg<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>You\u2019re a lonely ol\u2019 maid and spinster<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Counseling and mental health won\u2019t help you outta this Sexual Market Value chart<\/div>\n<div><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"image0.jpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/image0-7.jpeg\"><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Courtesy Rollo Tomassi&nbsp;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><span style=\"font-size: 13pt;\"><br \/><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by The vagina whisperer&nbsp; 29-31 year olds\u2026 https:\/\/www.YouTube.com\/watch?v=8V-KE7Jh35o Vagina whisperer can feel you know! Tell me how many of these bullet points hit home -1- Sudden epiphany and rediscovery of religion&nbsp; Any religious thang\u2026, and heaping servings of it. Doesn\u2019t matter if it\u2019s woo woo crystals or a cult that\u2019s into Authentic Relating Austin Stone [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16262","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16262","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16262"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16262\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16262"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16262"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16262"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}