{"id":38537,"date":"2026-06-01T23:13:56","date_gmt":"2026-06-01T23:13:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/?p=38537"},"modified":"2026-06-01T19:14:20","modified_gmt":"2026-06-01T23:14:20","slug":"tie-yourself-down-to-whatever-chair-youre-sitting-in-because-this-email-is-going-to-be-a-rough-fucking-ride","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/tie-yourself-down-to-whatever-chair-youre-sitting-in-because-this-email-is-going-to-be-a-rough-fucking-ride\/","title":{"rendered":"Tie yourself down to whatever chair you\u2019re sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride."},"content":{"rendered":"
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Ok, this is pure gold. We need more of this.<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
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L0\u00b0ST (@LookingOver2025) 9K likes \u00b7 75 replies<\/font><\/a><\/div>\n
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Tie yourself down to whatever chair you\u2019re sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride.<\/p>\n

For those of you that have your heads under rocks\u2014which apparently isn\u2019t the majority of this chapter\u2014we have been bucking up in terms of nighttime events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re reading this right now saying to yourself, \u2018OMG Becca! I\u2019ve been having so much fun with my sisters this week,\u2019 then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don\u2019t have to fucking find you on campus and do it myself.<\/p>\n

You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to sisters. This week, I am not one of them! This week is about fostering relationships in the Greek community. And that\u2019s not possible if you\u2019re gonna stand around talking to each other.<\/p>\n

Newsflash, stupid cunts: Frats don\u2019t like boring sororities. Oh wait\u2014double fucking newsflash: Sigma Nu is not gonna wanna hang out with us if we fucking suck. Which, by the way, in case you\u2019re an idiot and need it spelled out for you: We fuckin\u2019 suck so far.<\/p>\n

This also applies to your little shits that have talked openly about post-gaming at a different frat in front of Sigma Nu brothers. Are you people fucking retarded? That\u2019s not a rhetorical question. I literally want you to email me back telling me if you\u2019re mentally slow so I can make sure you don\u2019t go to any more nighttime events.<\/p>\n

Is Sigma Nu set? Yeah, we are gonna invite Zeta over. Would you be happy? No, you wouldn\u2019t. So why the fuck do you do it to them?<\/p>\n

First of all, you shouldn\u2019t be post-gaming at another frat. I don\u2019t give a fuck if your boyfriend\u2019s in it. You don\u2019t go. You don\u2019t go. And especially\u2014you especially do fucking not convince other girls to leave with yo<\/p>\n

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Waaahh Beccaaaaaa! You say in your whining little bitch voice to your computer screen, \u2018I\u2019ve been cheering on our sports teams at all the sports. Doesn\u2019t that count for something?\u2019 No, you stupid fucking assholes. It fucking doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Do you wanna know fucking why it doesn\u2019t count? Because you have been fucking up at sober fucking events too. For example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like, \u2018BLEEEH, what\u2019s kickball?\u2019 Well, it\u2019s time someone told you: No one fucking likes that.<\/p>\n

I will fuckin\u2019 cunt punt the next person out here doing something like that. And I don\u2019t give a fuck if you sorry me. I would fuckin\u2019 assault you.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ok, this is pure gold. We need more of this. L0\u00b0ST (@LookingOver2025) 9K likes \u00b7 75 replies x.com Tie yourself down to whatever chair you\u2019re sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride. For those of you that have your heads under rocks\u2014which apparently isn\u2019t the majority of this chapter\u2014we […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":38538,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-38537","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38537","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38537"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38537\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/38538"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38537"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38537"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.duck9.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38537"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}