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In The Media

5 Ways to Duck Ch9 Bankruptcy #Ch9

by Larry Chiang on June 18, 2015

Larry Chiang investigates and experiences entrepreneurship and pre-entrepreneurship. He covers the front-lines via Bloomberg BusinessWeek’s channel “What They Don’t Teach You at Business School”. He has a JBA not an MBA. Its a Jedi in Business Administration. After Chiang’s Harvard Law keynote, Harvard Business wrote: “What They Don’t Teach You at Stanford Business School“ (the same title as his NY Times bestseller). If you read his scandalously awesome “How to Hack at AfterParty“, “What a Supermodel Can Teach a Stanford MBA” and “How to Get Man-Charm”, you will like his latest post:

5 ways to avoid founder bankruptcy.

By Larry Chiang

The way Silicon Valley fails doesn’t show up on your Experian.

Founders fail forward here. There is no trace that you failed unless you tell people, “My YC startup failed.”

But that does not make failing less painful and quietly embarASSing for you and all your Princeton entrepreneurship club friends and friends of friends.

Let’s duck founder BK using these five countermeasures for when the Grim Reaper prematurely visits your startup. Let us duck #ch9 bankruptcy!!

-1- There is a hashtag for all things awesome in helping prevent pre-mature postmortems: #DuckCh9BK.

I’d go to Twitter and use the search function for the first time. Search and find #DuckCh9BK

-2- There is a hotline to call.

A hotline to call is http://twitter.com/6502838008

By day I help sorority girls with their FICO. At night, I am a superhero rescuing Ivy CS founders from imminent financial death, tetterring on the brink of Assignment for Benefit of Creditors (legal phrase Cooley, Silicon Valley Bank, etc. uses) for DuckCh9Bk.

(512) 775-8100. If you’re in the Austin Texas area. Ask for Larry Chiang at 98 San Jacinto.

-3- Avoid founder bankruptcy by straddling the Chasm.

Straddling.

Sounds sexual. Is sexy. But straddling will absolutely help you avoid Bk. Me and 15 mentors see this so often, we pattern recognize it a lot at board meetings in Rosewood. The (650) 283-8008 number is programmed into the Oak room. Rosewood hotel. Menlo Park. 94025.

I am at Rosewood so often that if you text me, I will come over from the pool. Shirtless. Straddle “The Chasm” because you have not crossed the innovation chasm. Straddle because you have repeatedly said, “Our prospects do not get it”

Plot spoiler: They get it. They just can’t believe your sales friction and your asking to do a contract. They see value but they cannot do the deal. [more later]. Straddle the chasm has a set of signature business recipes I wrote out here: #CTCFTRstc. It is a 9 letter hashtag that rolls of the tongue. #ctcFTRstc is bc even though I am alpha amongst alphas, I still ride bitch by being the hetero male secretary who takes notes.

I am alpha of alphas because I painstakingly took notes. Slapped the best notes up at a hashtag, “#CTCftrSTC that will rescue your Cal engineering, skyLab startup.

Cross
The
Chasm (geoffrey moore)
From
The
Right
S-t-r-a-d-d-l-e
The
Chasm

-4- Read Startup Death spiral.

A cal professor wrote it. A University of California, engineering school, professor wrote it. Yup, I went to Illinois. Yup, I know your Cal and YC content better than you do because while I am taller and prettier than you. I am, unfortunately, a better mentee. I would introduce you to my mentor, but he passed in 2003 :-(( Mark McCormack)

Read Startup Death spiral. I went ahead and googled it for you. And made you a bit.ly because I quote mentors super well. “bit ly / sblank713”. In your board meeting, your VCs are quoting, citing and sourcing. When I go to one of my 12 board meetings per week…, I am quoting a 128k SansDisk full of cash-money subroutines. Yes, literally c.s. subroutines on exactly how to get your prospects off the apple box and into your star de la Hollywood trailer.

NO one fux on an apple box. They bang in the trailer.

Startup Death Spiral. Pull yourself out of Startup Death SPIRAL’s flat spin to sea.

-5- #CS183s.

I am tired of typing and wanna swim.

CS 183 s. The s stands for sales’. The cs stands for…?? in the comments, write what CS stands for using a wordpress gravatar with your real face and magically see magic.

–LARRY CHIANG, out.

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