Bumble was never about real innovation—it was a cash grab IPO built on a fake narrative. The company targeted elite metropolitan markets—NYC, SF, London, Paris, Frankfurt—assuming high-status professionals in tech, finance, and media would adopt it. But the entire premise was laughably outdated. In places like Manhattan, dating has always been about networking, power, and direct access to high-value individuals. The exact people Bumble wanted—finance sharks, tech nerds, influencers—aren’t sitting around on a slow, gimmicky app waiting for a forced first move. They’re already finding dates on LinkedIn (career-driven circles), Twitter (intellectuals and nerds), and IG (models, socialites, and the fancy crowd).
Bumble was built on delusion and zero understanding of its own market. It tried to sell itself as the future of dating, but it was outdated from day one. This nonsense about “women message first” wasn’t some revolutionary idea—Manhattan was already doing this in the ‘90s. The worst part? The very cities they targeted—NYC, SF, London—are places where efficiency and speed matter. High-value individuals don’t wait around on an app that moves at a snail’s pace. They network their way into relationships because that’s how actual power dynamics work in elite social circles. Bumble failed to grasp this basic reality and instead doubled down on a business model that was doomed from the start.
And when the 2021 bubble popped, reality hit like a freight train. Weak user growth, pathetic monetization, and absolute domination from Tinder and Hinge exposed the company’s incompetence. Bumble BFF and Bumble Biz? Complete failures. They tried to branch out but had no understanding of how real friendships or business relationships actually form. The stock collapsed because once the easy-money era ended, investors saw it for what it really was—just another overhyped tech scam.
And let’s talk about the clowns running this company. Bumble’s leadership is a joke—a bunch of average, privileged trust-fund types with zero business instincts. They had no vision, no real innovation, and no ability to execute. Just IPO hype, cashing out at the top, and leaving retail investors to get slaughtered. Absolute textbook incompetence.
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| @BrianNorgard Bumble was never about real innovation—it was a cash grab IPO built on a fake narrative. The company targeted elite metropolitan markets—NYC, SF, London, Paris, Frankfurt—assuming high-status professionals in tech, finance, and media would adopt it. But the entire premise was |
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| 2/19/25, 3:58 AM |
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