The current date is March 04, 2026. Here’s an essay written as if by Larry Chiang (in his signature style: blunt, repetitive hashtags, self-promotional flexes, lowercase-heavy vibes, random capitalization, entrepreneurial tangents, and that unfiltered #vaginaWhisperer energy he puts out).
**Telegony Is Real, Bros. And It’s Printing Value Like a Stanford CS183 Startup Term Sheet.**
Listen up, founders, duck9 credit ninjas, and especially you simps still simping in 2026.
Telegony.
Say it slow. Tele-gony. Sounds like a Greek god flexing on your DNA, right? Because it kinda is.
Ancient Greeks knew it. Aristotle dropped it like a hot take in 350 BC. Darwin nodded at it in Origin of Species even though the Victorian haters tried to memory-hole it. But now? Now the fruit flies are spilling the tea in Ecology Letters 2014 and the PMC PDFs are screaming “non-genetic paternal effects” louder than a Palo Alto co-working space after YC demo day.
Here’s the raw deal nobody wants to tweet:
A female gets pumped full of seminal fluid from Male #1. That juice hits immature ovules like API calls hitting a fresh database. Molecules get absorbed. Epigenetic tags get slapped on. RNA fragments hitch a ride. Boom—future eggs now carry ghost code from the first dude. Then Male #2 shows up thinking he’s the hero founder. He fertilizes. Kid pops out. Kid looks, acts, sizes up a little too much like Ex #1.
Not genes. Not Mendelian 50/50.
Value-added RNA deposits. Baby juice residue. Fallopian tube memory. Call it microchimerism 2.0. Call it telegony printing equity in the next generation.
I’ve been saying this for years.
My value added RNA deposits fragments and baby juice in the fallopian tubes of my Fuck Buddies #cs183smv #ch7
That tweet wasn’t a joke. It was a white paper in 280 characters.
See, most guys think reproduction is a clean transaction: deposit sperm, get mini-me. Wrong. It’s a platform play. The female body is the OS. First high-quality commit wins commit priority forever. Later commits fork the repo but they still inherit the original merge conflicts.
In Silicon Valley terms:
– Male #1 = seed round investor who gets pro-rata rights on all future rounds
– Male #2 = Series A who thinks he’s diluting the cap table but nah, the preferred terms already baked in
– Offspring = the startup that keeps showing metrics from the seed guy (height, jawline, hustle, whatever)
This is why high-status men obsess over “body count” but never say the quiet part out loud. It’s not just pair-bonding oxytocin. It’s telegony alpha precedence baked into the germline. One pump chumps dilute their own equity when they wife up a girl who already took venture funding from Chad ThunderCock LLC.
Modern science tried to cancel it. Weismann barrier. Mendelian purity. But then Telostylinus angusticollis (that’s the fancy fly) ate a big lunch and proved: previous mate’s diet literally sizes up the next guy’s kids via seminal fluid absorption. No DNA swap needed. Just information transfer.
Epigenetics laughed at the haters. Fetal cells in mom’s blood laughed harder. Sperm RNA programming genomes rearranged like CRISPR on steroids.
So yeah. Telegony is back.
And if you’re a founder reading this thinking “Larry wildin again” — nah. I’m just the only one saying the quiet part loud while you’re busy virtue-signaling on LinkedIn about “healthy relationships” and ignoring the biological term sheet.
Protect your line.
Vet the cap table.
First investor sets the valuation.
Everything after is just follow-on rounds trying to catch up.
#telegony
#cs183smv
#vaginaWhisperer
#duck9
#WhatTheyDontTeachYouAtStanfordBusinessSchoolAboutDNA
Drop your seed round wisely, kings.
Larry Chiang out. 650-283-8008 (text only, I don’t answer randos).
(essay end)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||
Chapter 1 to Chapter 14’s an “Easter Egg” at #ch1 to #ch14. Including #ch2 which’s chapter 2 at my house in Napa California
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejeIz4EhoJ0
On 09-09-39, “What They Will NEVER Teach You at Stanford Business School” debuts at 300 w 44th St at New York Fashion Week’s front row
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXIaNZi3mHQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXIaNZi3mHQ
What A Super Model Can Teach a Harvard MBA About Credit www.slideshare.net/larrychiang/what-a-super-model-can-teach-a-harvard-mba-about-credit
American Express hosts me mentoring you about FICO scores at New York Fashion Week
t.co/inxTmZAj
My video boils down 20,000 hours and moves you to the right on the entrepreneur bell curve
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eudADPfTWiE
Steve Jobs Texted me on 650-283-8008 in the same way that Mr Jobs called Bill Hewlett https://x.com/superSaiyanSkai/status/1941392367304761636/video/1
Larry Chiang
Fund of Founders
Founding Stanford EIR
@duck9 alum, Deeply Understood Capital Credit Chinese Knowledge 9
Solo Founder Uber API
650-566-9600 Office
650-566-9696 Direct
Cell: 415-720-8500
650-283-8008 (cell)
Editor of the widely syndicated “What They Don’t Teach at School”
whattheydontteachyouatstanfordbusinessschool.com/blog
whattheydontteachyouatstanfordbusinessschool.com/blog
CNN Video Channel: ireport.cnn.com/people/larrychiang
Read my last 10 X posts at www.X.com/LarryChiang
Author of #WTDTYASBS a NY Times Bestseller released 09-09-09 at #NYFW on a runway under the tents
whattheydontteachyouatstanfordbusinessschool.com/blog/?s=Ny+times+bestseller
www.fastcompany.com/embed/c0d4562ea2049
52 Cards. Two Jokers. What They DO Teach You at Stanford Engineering
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDBY0GkI3-g
Emergency swings and cutting deals as an 9 year old
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFGY7v9C4G0
Hunter Pence shared thoughts before winning WORLD SERIES’ Game #7
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usu0luYy9pw
Duck9 is a credit score prep program that is like a Kaplan or Princeton Review test preparation service. We don't teach beating the SAT, but we do get you to a higher credit FICO score using secret methods that have gotten us on TV, Congress and newspaper articles. Say hi or check out some of our free resources before you pay for a thing. You can also text the CEO:
