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In The Media

Celeb. Yes, you’re a celeb and I’m here to sniff your jock

by Larry Chiang on November 5, 2014

Larry Chiang’s 5th book, WTDTYASBS, launched at a Harvard Law School keynote, so he knows about grand openings (He even attends and promotes the ones he isn’t invited to also). As CEO of Duck9, he leads an army to help college student consumers get a FICO over 770. Post H.L.S. keynote, Harvard Business wrote: “What They Don’t Teach You at Stanford Business School” (his latest post: “Setting an intention for SXSWi“.

I go where the hawt girls text me to go. Here, I am sitting front row at NY Fashion Week. Tory Burch’s launch is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G

By Larry Chiang

Confession: I’m a jock sniffer.
I know you’ve seen me. I’m athletic looking at 6′ 5″, 222. Chinese. I look athletic but I am a 0.75 tool athlete.
I drafted this at a coffee shop, Peets. I’m frazzled at work so I wanted to get thoughts for you down on paper. Err IPhone. Your friend who plays SS or QB probably told you to google this.
Yup, I have advice on “How to make investments with no money and get people to give us ex-athletes franchises.”
Champion Ventures. Heard of them? They used to be HRJ ventures. Got bought out by CapDyn. It’s a Switzerland company. Swiss is to Switzerland like Dutch is to Netherlands  (I think). I’m not name dropping…, I’m conclusion jumping. The conclusion = Your money should never ever never be at risk.
You make money picking up short-hops even though you don’t wear a cup in Scottsdale. You risked your balls in the cold plunge. You shouldn’t have to risk your cash (post agent allowance)
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Two years ago at SXSW, I did a FICO score prep for NFL athletes. But I kinda think his (Tom Brady’s) FICO is fine.

Yup, I speak at rookie camp on FICO.

Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Maybe I should do a HOW TO INVEST AS A HALL OF FAME 31 yo who’ll retire in 12-15 years.

Text me if you wanna talk from your agents cell. Or use a burner. I am at 650-283-8008.

Zaw Thet is a super smart dude.


Zaw Thet (@zawthet)
Where Do Athletes Go to Retire? Franchises – @WSJD


But for Augie Garrido’s sake, you should do as Zaw Thet d-o-e-s and not what he says
He says you should invest in a franchise (implicit as per his tweet and the context). His actions state: ‘You should get an “LP”.’
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
What Drew Brees, NFL employee, learned at my local college…


An LP is a limited partner. They have 100% of the downside. ~65% of the upside. You have heard the Ronnie Lott & Joe Montana murmurings and urban legend.
They’re true. They’re genius w/their money. By “they”, I mean Joe Montana and Mr Ronnie Lott
Steve Perry is blocking and boxing out the aisle on the INTERCONTINENTAL bound, team bus, but whatevs. Jk, he’s awesome!!
My mentor believed every pro player should have an “agent”. I believe every dude or dudette should have an “Asian”. Seriously. Ok any race kid that’s a CS major.
Seriously, you should have two CS majors. Remember the cautionary tale of Derek Jeter and Nike shoes. It’s where two CS majors sold more X brand than Jeter did during his farewell tour.
Ok. Here is a next step. Invite me to a thing. A sit-down’d be wayyyyyyy to awkward. I’d look at you (down at you) all Google-ied eyed. So instead, invite me to your foundations fundraiser. No comp necessary. If the party starts at 8, I’ll meet you at 7:55 near the VIP green room. No I’m not bringing a plus one. No, I’m not bringing any agent
Don’t be a dick and charge me more than $500. Lol, I do travel with a tux like Russell Wilson (that myth sounds true, but I dunno)
The conclusion: NEVER RISK YOUR MONEY IN INVESTMENTS. Zero. Risk is something I studied after I divested from the teaching of Coach Augie Garrido. Yup, I’m a student athlete engineer (at Illinois!!! Not Stanford. That’s where I taught.
Back to you and your money.
Risk mitigation
Risk minimization
Risk elimination. It’s #RMRMRE
ENGR145’s all about making it safer and more risk free as an entrepreneur (plot spoiler: after you’re done playing a child’s game, you’re gonna need to be an entrepreneur. Cuz you’re a brand already)
Yo! While you were en route to winning your FIRST World Series, I was cutting deals w/a 9 year old. Gawd, I’m #HiLarryAss
Oh. I only break news about myself so EVERYTHING YOU AND I TALK ABOUT WILL NEVER LEAVE THE HOTEL INTERCONTINENTAL 6th FLOOR VIP LOUNGE (#teamHotel #CateringEntranceElevator)

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