By Larry Chiang
This is my moist ambitious blog post yet!!
My intention is to get you rich before SPRING BREAK ends. If you don’t to college now, please leave. You’re a University of Texas student athlete or ex-athlete, plain student… I’ll address & reveal as much benefit as 3 years of college.
Here is exactly how:
– Credit Score Hacking at SxSW,
– CapOne Paying,
– GaGaGuaranteed REVENUE BC YOU SKIPPED UT Spring Break ALREADY
– Mommy Bloggers (#CreditTracker)
– More Revenue via Austin credit union paying you
– Understanding my mentor’s, Mark McCormack’s #EUBM
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Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang) |
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What Capital One Won’t Teach You About Starting Up Your FICO #SXSW
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A FICO is The mysterious credit score. It’s a semi regulated monopoly just-out-of legislative and regulatory reach. I do not complain about it’s power. I lever the existing system. I engineer up your FICO. In the face of their 8 year old Cease and Desist*, I as CEO of duck9, brought you “#BCSeutwm”
Whoa.
If you’re saying “Darn, what an acronym #BCSEUTWM is!”, let me drop a BOMB.
ITS NOT AN ACRONYM, ITS A MOTHER SCRATCHIN’ SUBROUTINE. CS majors copy paste subroutines from StackOverflow and my friends website, “GitHub”. It’s legal and that’s why we get paid $150k base + commission IN THE FORM OF STOCK – If you don’t know CS (computer science), put on your thinking cap, find and locate your stress-balls and lets grind out your understanding of “subroutine’, as it applies to building FICO
You see, BCSEUTWM is a signature business recipe. When you make banana bread, you lever 1000 years of baker trial and error. When you make King Pao Duck, you’re leveraging 6000 years of my people cooking duck. When you’re making Gua Gua Guacamole, you’re leveraging a lot of my IQ 270 brain ;-P
So, do what cs majors do and google BCSEUTWM
Execute a lil BCSEUTWM
Google BCSEUTWM some more
Execute
Read what you googled
Execute BCSEUTWM
Maybe mentor someone 2-5 steps behind you how BCSEUTWM
This mentorship of a person slightly less retarded than you, leads me to my next point…
Capital One can pay you…
100% true. I’ll let you keep 100% (by the way, I relinquish all IP associated to this credit content. No copyright
Feel free to copy paste. I’m rich already! 🙂
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Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang) |
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Can I get an appearance fee @CapitalOne for #sxsw?
CS kids. Charge Daniel Mouadeb 28.8k w/a 100% refund if u don’t get 1,000 new #leadGen |
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Seriously.
As EIR, I was the founding Entrepreneur in Residence at my local college. I read something called External API. If you’re a CS major, it’s like an Internal API. But external
Gawd I’m hilarious.
API of course is Application Protocol Interface. API and external API are Ga Ga Guaranteed revenue. Right on cue, revenue that is guaranteed is my next point.
THE REVENUE.
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kevinfarley (@kevinfarley) |
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@LarryChiang nice meeting you yesterday at the Retail Banking Conf. Thanks for the idea on txt banking.
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That was Austin
That was Retail Banking Conf (#RBconf15). Click #RBconf15 to see the notes I took FRONT ROW, Andrew Luck student athlete style. A 6’5″ dude in the front row.
If you’re foreign you won’t believe this next tweet. So sorry the country you’re from sucks and gave you emo baggage
If you’re from the Midwest living in Silicon Valley Christmas comes in 140 character tweets GOTTA LUV THAT BABY JESUS!!!!
boom:
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Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang) |
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#RBconf15 @kevinfarley if u guys have $5.8k, I can have two CS students implement 100%. They’ll keep 100% this summer ’15.
:-)) Nice mtg! |
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By implement, I mean rip the Twillio API so that United Heritage credit union can text customers
/1/ Their balance
/2/ their last 3 trannies**
Trannies are transactions. Not my friends that dance at AsiaSF. NOT my gender reversal entrepreneurship
As EIR, I made this legendary video. It’s Silicon Valley 9.0
I close your first deal.
I pop your startup revenue cherry
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kevinfarley (@kevinfarley) |
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@LarryChiang Now that sounds interesting. I’ll reach out after out internal debrief.
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Heck, AND THIS GIVES ME GOOSEBUMPS, I’ll even open the SILICON VALLEY BANK checking account for you AT A AUSTIN PARTY in downtown #Austin
Bryan Lourd. CAA.
This is how the money transfers. Like how Eskimos have 17 words for snow, I have 23 signature business subroutines my mentor gave me to steward. This is how money transfers from bank executive to your Silicon Valley bank account 3300XXXXX:
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Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang) |
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#RBconf15 #sxsw #UTeWeek
@kevinfarley remember, $0 xfers until 100% works as per |
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Laugh out Awesome internal escrow and one way letter of intent are: “What Sam Altman Adores About YC Founders But Won’t Teach at #CS183b”. I am putting #InternalEscrow and
#OneWayLetterOfIntent into CS 183c, cs 183x and cs 183do
I’m such a duck
Dick. Darn you autocorrect. “I’m such a dick”. Why?! Cuz #CS183c, #CS183do, and CS 183x are all free. All on The Google.
Capital One levers mommy bloggers.
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Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang) |
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Yesss @6502838008: Capital One should do a #creditTracker p-a-r-t-y
at #sxsw Higher FICO scores benefit founders filmmakers and musicians |
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Here are paid tweets.
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rolemommy (@rolemommy) |
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Do you have any tips on how you teach your children about personal finance? @CapitalOne #CreditTracker #OwnYourTrack #AD
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Sabrina Soto (@sabrinasoto) |
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Ditch the blueprint & map out your credit before finding the home of your dreams w/ @CapitalOne #CreditTracker #OwnYourTrack #AD
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Paying mommy bloggers is a business model.
Here is What They Do Teach You at Stanford Engineering 2010, 2011 & 2012 About Engineering Up a Business Model. I taught what my mentor taught me. Mark McCormack taught me EUBM
#EUBM is curated in twitter. Like a museum curator, Liz Link, who went to Harvard and lives in Austin… I curate the best business model content and place it at #EUBM
Only 3 boxes truly matter on the business model canvas
My Harbus article https://bit.ly/vc0311b
More on how mommy blogger tipped the Hollywood movie launch algorithm for Mr Peabody. It exceeded expectations and leveraged Mommy bloggers last year. Here is coverage on that in Harvard https://bit.ly/vc0311b
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Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang) |
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What the Ex-Startup, Capital One, #SXSW Sponsor, Won’t Teach You About Their Crossing of Innovation “Chasms”
#CTCFTR bit.ly/buster14512w |
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Meet Chris.
He’s a future cs major
He might be a Capital One customer
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Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang) |
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#RBconf15 #sxsw #UTeWeek
@kevinfarley remember, $0 xfers until 100% works as per |
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Me and Lisa Falzone. You should google this unicorn ceo and ex stanford student athlete
Note: She just spoke at gsb. Her February 5 keynote has notes I took from the front row. I have and always will sit First Chair Entrepreneur as I install some random kid to speak.
#ENGR145 is all yours to google.
Duck9 is a credit score prep program that is like a Kaplan or Princeton Review test preparation service. We don't teach beating the SAT, but we do get you to a higher credit FICO score using secret methods that have gotten us on TV, Congress and newspaper articles. Say hi or check out some of our free resources before you pay for a thing. You can also text the CEO:
