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Ga Ga Guaranteed: Engineering Undergrad S.U.C.C.E.S.S. Algorithm

by Larry Chiang on May 4, 2012

Larry Chiang investigates and experiences entrepreneurship and pre-entrepreneurship. He covers the front-lines via Bloomberg BusinessWeek’s channel “What They Don’t Teach You at Business School”. He has a JBA not an MBA. Its a Jedi in Business Administration. After Chiang’s Harvard Law keynote, Harvard Business wrote: “What They Don’t Teach You at Stanford Business School“ (the same title as his NY Times bestseller). If you read his scandalously awesome “How to Hack at AfterParty“, “What a Supermodel Can Teach a Stanford MBA” and “How to Get Man-Charm”, you will like his latest post:

Ga Ga Guaranteed: Engineering Undergrad S.U.C.C.E.S.S. Algorithm

By Larry Chiang

Skimming this article won’t work.

Seriously shut down your IM. Turn off your two phones. And focus your 155 IQ points on this.

If your IQ isn’t 1-5-5, leave.
If you can’t focus using “momentary singular focus”, leave now.

The old way was an ultimate success formulae – I concocted, developed an ultimate success algorithm.

It involves
– pattern recognition (that u get an old old rich executive with)
– pattern replication
– pattern iteration

I broke into an industry by hacking the Fair Isaac credit card credit score algorithm. I crashed film school with another algorithm. I authored 13 algorithms that I dumbed down into “Gua Gua Guacamole”. My algorithms could get sold, but I give them away. It’s cuz I’m rich and hiLarryAss.

If you’re foreign, you’re bristling at my tone. If you’re a white dude from the Midwest… You’re thinking I’m your new BFF.

And I am.

Your end result and goal should be to be an engineering entrepreneur co-founder with zero risk exposure.

Zero risk.

Tell that nasty risk to take a hike!!

Old people that tell us to take massive risks WHILE YOU’RE YOUNG never took risks themselves. I’m the guy that reverse engineers what they did so you can pattern replicate what they did versus what they are saying you should do.

Have you ever played the board game Risk?! PLOT SPOILER: The winner sits in Australia protecting one border and never “risks” ANYTHING.

I was taught this by engineer entrepreneurs. Now here is the algorithm


Lifestyle biz + ENGR degree + moonlight + fortune 100 J.O.B. = zero risk = #DIYVC (do it yourself VC)

#wokEthic = work ethic but Asian 🙂

Co-founding a life style business is what they teach at ENGR 145. It’s about 650 steps. Execute 400-420 of them by reading. Re-reading. Executing. Pattern iterating. Reading. Pattern replicating.

The other parts of my S.U.C.C.E.S.S. ALGO you’ll have to google search. And read

The Ga Ga Guaranteed exits and are your lifestyle business ideas. You keep it, it’s a lifestyle business. You sell it… It’s an exit. The Ga Ga Guaranteed exits are an Easter egg hunt in my twitter feed. The tweets are labelled “Ga Ga Guaranteed” from Sept 2011 to April 2012. If you are foreign, an Easter egg hunt is where treats are buried inside plastic Easter eggs by aunties that stuff a $50 bill inside.

What am I doing?!  Pivoting SLAC. I’m risk free trying to be a trillionaire

Cray cray?!

This will boil-bake your IQ 250 brain. Your electric car boils water to propel fwd. But my high school car, Buster, doesn’t. He’s a 1992 BMW. Got Atomic power? It boils water. Pivoting SLAC entails taking nuclear power to Internal Nuclear Fission Engine-ate.

But you’re a non engineer reading this and you. Hate. Me.

So here is a gift for reading this far. Here is an algorithm to “hack” business school. Don’t pay $200k. Get paid $30k to learn it.

Get a library card. Get a list of books GSB uses. Master finance and accounting.

Finance is engineering calculus for retards.

Accounting is engineering financial dashboard metrics with jargon, terms and rules that take about 400 hrs to master. You understand fluid dynamics. 1/100th the brain power needed to understand GAAP, TVPI, npv, WACC, and interest.


*** BONUS ***
a party invite for you…

If you liked this… defaultLarry’s mentor Mark McCormack wrote this in 1983. His own book came out 09-09-09. It is called ‘What They Don’t Teach You At Stanford Business School

This post was drafted in an hour and needs your edits… email me if you see a spelling or grammatical error(s)… larry@larrychiang com


Larry Chiang started his first company UCMS in college. He mimicked his mentor, Mark McCormack, founder of IMG who wrote the book, “What They Don’t Teach You at Harvard Business School”. Chiang is a keynote speaker and bestselling author and spoke at Congress and World Bank.


Text or call him during office hours 11:11am or 11:11pm PST +/-11 minutes at 650-283-8008. Due to the volume of calls, he may place you on hold like a Scottsdale Arizona customer service rep. If you email him, be sure to include your cell number in the subject line. If you want him to email you his new articles…, ask him in an email :-)

You can read more equally funny, but non-founder-focused-lessons on Larry’s Amazon blog

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