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In The Media

How To Close a Deal Over Clubhouse

by Larry Chiang on January 24, 2021

By Larry Chiang
The first rule of clubhouse is to talk “About Last Night on Clubhouse”
Clubhouse is the en Vogue iPhone app that is really similar to early Twitter and the early days of bitcoin. Here is how to close a deal in America on clubhouse 
-1- Take notes, “raise your hand”
Raising your hand gets you to the stage. The clubhouse stage is the platform where speaking is allowed. Take paper notes. I’ll expand on the deal closing component on Clubhouse is off-clubhouse 
[raises hand…, moderator lets you speak]
Suffice to say that few of these merry clubhouse talkers and waiting-to-talkers will ever put pen to paper. They’re just waiting to shoot their shot. Instead of shooting, hit the mute button
-2- Close a deal on Clubhouse by hitting the mute button
For you Stanford engineers that were in my #ENGR145 classes, you studied the lecture before the lecture happened, the mute button lets you multitask aka mentally check out. 😭
The management of your mute button is CRITICAL to closing a deal over clubhouse. You see, once you’re invited up on stage, you need to applaud the speaker who IS SPEAKING. Applause is muting and unmuting so that your mute button seems to flash. 
Let me repeat that. 
Since no one knows if anyone is listening, flashing your mute button is a sign of life. A lot of times there is no sign of life. The only sign of life is the mute flash button. Clubhouse is a dirty app full of appointment based learners waiting to diarrhea their mouth off. 
Don’t be another talker. Be a listener.
-3- Talk Time and Yielding the balance of your time
Normal = fight to talk. 
Woke = moderate as a non moderator
Bespoke = amplify and distribute someone else’s genius by citing and sourcing pertinent content in your newly updated bio. 
Talk time: Listening time. The ratio of talk time to listening time leads me to…
-4- Close deals over Clubhouse by setting a deal closing step
Clubhouse is not one-call-close. Clubhouse is a close for-a-DM. DM is broken btw. Direct messaging on Clubhouse is broken by the way. 

Closing a private email communication is closing a deal on Clubhouse. But I hear you greedy little Stanford Engineering HUSTLERS…., you’re saying Larry Chiang I know you got more. You’re the guy who hacked the credit scoring algorithm 

-5- Take notes on the Clubhouse by ripping an #ExternalAPi from inside the API
Clubhouse does not let you take video of the audio of the room* 
By law, sampling the content via the written word is legal because you said it and now, I’m writing it down. Remember if you did it and it didn’t get reported in the Wall Street Journal, did it really even happen at all?
If a blogger didn’t blog you, were you even good
If what you said on clubhouse did not show up on Twitter the next day, were your comments even valuable??
Here is an example of how taking notes helps you close a deal. 
For example, Bitcoin for Corporations is taking place Feb 3 and Feb 4. Crypto Twitter barely knows about it. Today is 1/24. Clubhouse won’t know about it until after Bitcoin For Corporations happens which will be February 5. I am hosting a Bitcoin for Corporations afterparty from Miami Four Seasons Residences at 1835 Brickell. 
Guess who will take notes!? You!
-6- Back to Basics In Closing a Deal on Clubhouse 
Sell. One. Thing. 
Sell just one thing over clubhouse. If your customer says something positive about your blog post or jewelry or trinket no one is buying because you’re a sales virgin, do your virgin first clubhouse deal using protocol, LCRRM
Larry Chiang Reverse Rebate Model. 
Here is how #LCRRM works in the context of closing a deal for $10.99 on Clubhouse. 
-1- Shoot your pity shot
Your shot is literally pitiful but you’re a newbie newb virgin. So we reward the effort 
-2- Say to price and THEN SHUT UP
-3- whoever talks first LOSES. 
-4- Then when they object, say
“Look. You’re a legend. You’re Larry Chiang and I have read all about you at Stanford GSB in the library. I crashed that library from my computer. Anyway, I have always wanted to do business with you, so here is a completely de-risked way
If after you buy it for $10.99, and I ship, and you like it. Say one positive thing about my vagina monologue and I’ll fully refund you. It’s LCRRM. My mentor is Larry Chiang and Larry Chiang Reverse Rebate model. Chiang got it outta a Mark McCormack book
Mark McCormack Reverse Rebate Model. 
Are you in for the $10.99 or are you gonna puss out on this deal?”
~ Chiang Bang, out
Larry Chiang,
How To Close a Deal Over Clubhouse

Leverage the hottest new iPhone App to connect with $$$$$ people. My WordPress blog post that costs $10.99


Sales. If you attempt one thing, email me what you tried, I’ll give you 100% of your 1099 back.…

1/24/21, 11:28 AM
Larry Chiang,
How To Close a Deal Over CH

If I did a tweetstorm, you’d just fave 

Do 1 thing, DM me what you tried, I’ll even give you $11.11 back.…

If your brain is on, do me. Read my GigaOm post on “How To Close a VC You Don’t Know to Mentor You”

Worth $5000+ 


1/24/21, 11:34 AM
Remember to email or text me so that I can refund you!
For info on reprints of this article, text me

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