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23 Very Specific Things to Look For As a Stanford Engineering Joining the Next Uber, Palantir, Facebook, PayPal, Revel Systems or Uber

by Larry Chiang on March 3, 2015

image.jpegBy Larry Chiang
All unicorns biatch!!!
I came to Silicon Valley because a unicorn co-founder recruited me to do lead gen. It was an engineer with sales skills in charge of biz dev recruiting an engineer with sales skills. My grasp of “CS major seeking Unicorn” is so strong (via coat tailing the tech tastemaker, Robert Scoble:-). My ability to sniff out a Unicorn is so strong that I routed these unicorns thru Stanford athletics. BECAUSE STUDENT ATHLETE ENGINEERS SHOULD GET ACCESS TO UNICORN INTERNSHIPS WHILE EATING “TRAINING TABLE”.
Training Table is where athletes eat special meals. Training Table is why I said Uber twice. Training Table is the reason for my C&D*
*More on that below.
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
23 Things to Look For.
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team: Is the team rock stars w/1 self-taught founder with a massive “chip”.
100% Stanford is bad. (According to YouNoodle. Professor Rebeca taught us)
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. Do 2-3 of the cofounders code and sell. Tomorrow’s unicorns have 3-5 CS major founders. All code. All promote.
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. What delicious non-conformist “hack” have they already executed. Starting up is tough without a sequence of naughty, legal hacks

This reminds me of my mentor’s, Paul Graham’s post (being “naughty” while seeking growth and traction is point #….)

Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. What “lemonade stands” have they practiced on
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
As an engineer, you’re like a VC bc you’re ‘funding’ a startup with code. Often, way more valuable than capital
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. Does the team have the skill of “Engineering up a Business model”? Stanford engineering content. Cerebral cortex re-wired for sharEQ
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Whether u like it or not, my CS major unicorn-seeking padawan, you’re an unconscious semi competent R2D2, VC ;-P


Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
The venture capital side door.
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. Was the team able to bootstrap to a $25mm valuation without a nickel of institutional money.

Can u #R2D2vc them 25mm~>$50+

Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. Was the team…
Will the team make money debuting before they premier and then later #Launch.


Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. Does the team burn time discussing VC during meetings. VCs should be sub 3%
Yes wayyyy less than 5% talking fundraising
Ideally 0%
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Remember sharks smell blood from miles so theres no need to chum w fake blood.
Theyre expert pattern recognizers #PRPRPI


Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. Does the team focus on external deliverables. Or is it 100% internal deliverables

Know this diff!!

Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. Is the team a pre-existing team?

Are u a pre-existing team, too?

Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
You, before joining their team. Have you promoted what they’re doing to a paid-paying person

Have u sold.

Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. How does their team feel about you, as a CS “R2D2’s” selling their shitake without their permission.
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. Is the team “unicorn” bc it’s able to execute massive swaths of executable “subroutines” in-the-business world
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. If the team is Asian, have they already or/and are they willing to “go partial retard”
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. Does the team currently live in a VC’s house that is currently getting pseudo renovated. In The 94025.
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. Does one of the founders have a physical ailment that channels remaining energy into the “Sport of Shareholder Equity Building (no TM)
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. Does one of the founders have sexual energy that channels into the “Sport of Shareholder Equity Building” #ch7
Bang less. Get ahead
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. Was this a lifestyle business until it was not a lifestyle business?
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. When you look at what exists, is it mostly pretty slidedick power point bull crap?
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. What two APIs have they DJ’d to scandalously make $500k off 3 old bozos at $150k-$175,000/clip
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Eskimos have 15 words for snow

YC has 12 docs for VC
One document for ‘revenue’

#whatIs #ENGR245

Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. Did a vc (who has operations exp) buy a hedge by doing a 250k note-bridge-seed-X- “Safe”-blank check ), and then kinda “incubate”
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. Do you look at the team and say “How in the world are you guys together!?!”

U want a diverse team in hive-mind “mode”

Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Team. Is their slide deck one slide:

“We are 5 CS majors. We all code. We all sell. Bobby never went to college but he’s the best”

Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
I see blitz reads like it’s a CS pop quiz in #CS183c… I remember Charlie Weis remembering Week 5 (chargers vs Patri…

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ENGR145’s two anchor videos move you to the right on the entrepreneur bell curve
Is a bit ly I memorized that links to
CEO of Duck9
Stanford University’s Founding EIR (Entrepreneur in Residence)
Duck9 = Deep Underground Credit Knowledge 9
c/o UCMS Inc
2021 Midwest Road / 3rd FL
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650-283-8008 (cell)
Founder of “What They Don’t Teach at Business School” for CNN iReport:
Author, NY Times Bestseller
“What They Will NEVER Teach You at Stanford Business School about EUTWMPPM @SXSW” comes out 11-11-14
52 Cards. Two Jokers. What They DO Teach You at Stanford Engineering
Emergency swings and cutting deals as an 9 year old

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