By Larry Chiang
I’m “national account manager” on my credit app and subsequently on my credit reports. That’s my lying low. I’m actually ceo, bitch.
(I’ve always wanted to say that line from the Facebook movie)
The general public lies on their credit app in the moist cliche of ways. Yes moist because I gotta add humor in this moist humorless of topics for us credit execs.
A mortgage for a startup is the Asian dude on the left. A mortgage for your domicile, you look to the chinese guy on the right.
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Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang) |
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The 33 most common lies on a credit loan application.
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This isn’t scientific. This is simply off the tip of my tongue in a semi rant…
1/ name obfuscation.
Are their three ‘m’s’ in Mohammed or 4.
LAWRENCE (Larry) HUAN CHIANG. Same as the photocopy of the passport, drivers license and email…
2/ eMail.
A lot of people lie about their email. I can understand not knowing your Twitter account handle. But a lot of people have recently made up email addresses that they can’t remember what their email address they manufactured.
DONT YOU KNOW THAT WE CREDIT EXECUTIVES RISK MITIGATE VIA EMAIL ADDRESS VINTAGING. Like wine and venture capital funds have “vintages”, so do email addresses.
Larry @LarryChiang Dot Com is connected to a paypal account. It’s also the same email address that is at Amazon. Gmail has vintages too (below, cellphone numbers have “vintages”)
If you read and can order books, your credit score is affected.
2b/ Email addresses that are really small business names.
LIES.
LarryChiang@ucms.com connotates you work at UCMS as a “National Account Manager”. ITS A LIE when your email address is “I_Trim_Bush1981@yahoo” if you’re hiding your work email…Somethings upppp
2c/ Contractor status.
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Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang) |
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I don’t blame consumers that lie on their credit app. I blame em for thinking they’re innovative
They’re cliche lies #BCSeutwm |
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4/ Length of employment.
5/ title.
6/ student status.
7/ lies about employer telephone number.
8/ My google voice number is my cellphone.
While this isn’t technically a “lie” because google voice can be linked to an app…, that goes to your cell phone. Saying your gmail voice number is your cell is a lie because you don’t have a working number and are mooching wifi on a third generation phone you bought off a fence.
A cellphone number with a known carrier is a huge indication that you’re participating on the FICO grid of Time (X-axis) and #ExpTransFax (on the Y-axis)
Sure there are credit execs that don’t check Google voice numbers as fake cellphones. But what credit exec saves that $3.95 API call?!? Google numbers are sooooooo fraud.
So, we credit executives know that the the cellphone number vintages doled out by google via Google voice are some of the worst vintages since Amex optima’s double digit charge-off percentages.
9/ lies about down payment.
Fanagle the ratios is so cliche.
10/ social security number sharing.
Mixed. Files. So cliche.
11/ income. We just take your lie and reduce it 15%.
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Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang) |
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Look in the mirror about your credit score. Build Credit Score (engineering up tad weebit MOMEMTUM #BCSeutwm pic.twitter.com/qw2tQcTE8v
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As a hobby I risk mitigate small tech startups using these two videos.
Pump in “lies” that credit execs NEED TO SWALLOW. This is done by adding positive credit interactions to the FICO grid. Remember,
Time (X-axis) and #ExpTransFax (on the Y-axis). When I said “35 common credit lies”, that was a lie. It’s 11 lies and 24 spectacularly awesome lies.
Let me repeat. 11 lies and 24 spectacularly awesome lies.
The 24 awesome lies is when you, as a consumer, stack overflow #ExpTransFax’s filter. You just pump in
– I charged $20.
-Later, I paid $20.
Think of this as “Adult Marshmallow Test” with a dose of ‘Can you as a functional adult read and execute a signature business recipe of 24 ontime $20’s’. Because, as a credit executive, I just opened up my kimono.
Do you like what you see under my kimono?
Wanna network with me!? PayPal me any random dollar amount to LarryChiang@ucms.com
Duck9 is a credit score prep program that is like a Kaplan or Princeton Review test preparation service. We don't teach beating the SAT, but we do get you to a higher credit FICO score using secret methods that have gotten us on TV, Congress and newspaper articles. Say hi or check out some of our free resources before you pay for a thing. You can also text the CEO:
