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A 32-Year-Old Invented a Process That Could Solve Entrepreneurs’ Biggest Money Problem

by Larry Chiang on July 12, 2014

By Larry Chiang
Problem: Needing VC before you qualify for venture capital.
It’s a catch 22 where you can’t get the money, VCs think you can’t execute and you can’t get going unless you get some money. Catch-22 phrase is from airplane dogfighting where you as a fighter pilot had to TopGun 22 missions before you could be promoted.
Spoiler: most pilots died before 6 missions.
Well, I, Larry Chiang am not down with that crap. I’m American dammit. I’d nuke em. Do I wanna pull into the Pacific with the USS Arizona and get suicided bombed??
Nuke em.
Here is the nuclear equivalent to solve the issue: “I need VC money but right now immma crap founder that can’t get a meeting”
Strategic Nuke Strike Component #1 of 35
Solve a clear problem for a Fortune 500. Ideally, a Fortune 100 or 50. The bigger the company, the dumber the execs. Take the Knowledge of “4 Steps to the Epiphany”, ‘Lean Startup’, “Crossing the chasm” and Cross the Innovation Chasm from the Right
Net result will be to extract significant five figures of revenue (b2b)
Revenue continued…
Strategic Nuke Strike Component #2 of 35
Engineer
Up 
Revenue by 
Value-addedly
Mentor 
Marketing 
#EURVMM is the subroutine that leads to customers pre-paying.
Strategic Nuke Strike Component #3 of 35
There is a specific, RISK FREE method to taking money from a fortune 100. You, the startup swallow the risk.
Fortune 50 company experiences zero risk.
How?!
“One way letter of intent.”
and
“Internal escrow.”
#ReducingSalesFriction.
But Larry Chiang, I need a li’l cash to fund my attending a tech conference, digital media exec conference, O’Reilly Conference
This leads to…
Strategic Nuke Strike Component #4 of 35
Get paid to present at conferences. 
It’s the Gua Gua Guacamole recipe that helps you make money while you’re making money, “How to crash conferences and become a VIP”
Google it because I’m not linking to it for you.
Strategic Nuke Strike Components #5 to #29 of 35
Borrow money without losing any equity.

Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Hack into the Fair Isaac dB with 24 USA USPS postage stamps #31envelopes

With a sheet of postage stamps, I can get you more VC than a YC startup. YC is Y Combinator.


YC gets you $120k (and dropping)
#31envelopes got my co-founder a $2mm Letter of Credit.
#31envelopes got my mentor $3.5B in self funded exit.

Stack overflow the credit bureaus data with all positive data. Credit data that is positive helps you get credit. Make 31 envelopes and then text me for what addresses to write.

Remember, Japan didn’t do their nuclear engineering homework. They take out their F- effort by raping dolphins in The Cove. Do you homework bitchezzz 

A 32-Year-Old Invented a Process That Could Solve Entrepreneurs’ Biggest Money Problem (cont’)

Strategic Nuke Strike Components #30 of 35
SXSW!
 
Kevin Kowalke (@kevinkowalke)
Executing @LarryChiang style #EURVMM + #LCRRM = #SXSW Perpetual Promotion MachineryING bit.ly/vc0711bp8 #GoGetChitter

SXSW is in Texas so you will have to fly there. I’m doing a yoga themed SXSW at St Regis Jan 17

Strategic Nuke Strike Components #31  of 35

Book a Starwood hotel chain ST REGIS ROOM JAN 17 using points. Jan 17, 2015.

Get the points here

But Larry, I want a short cut.
Remember my mentee, Japan wanted a short cut too when it bombed Pearl Harbor.

Look how that worked out.

Strategic Nuke Strike Components #32 of 35

While at a Yoga conference in SF, you will be butt-to-butt with some of the most influential VCs 

You’re effen welcome

Strategic Nuke Strike Components #33 of 35

Retweet this tweet ONLY IF YOU ARE AN ENGINEERING UNDERGRAD. NO MBAS UNLESS YOU DID ENGINEERING AS YOUR UNDERGRAD
Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
Hack into the Fair Isaac dB with 24 USA USPS postage stamps #31envelopes

Strategic Nuke Strike Components #34 of 35 

ENGR145’s anchor video moves you to the right on the entrepreneur bell curve 
Is a bit ly I memorized that links to
CEO of Duck9
Stanford University’s Founding EIR (Entrepreneur in Residence)
Duck9 = Deep Underground Credit Knowledge 9
c/o UCMS Inc
2021 Midwest Road / 3rd FL
Oak Brook IL
630-705-5555
650-283-8008 (cell)
****************
Founder of “What They Don’t Teach at Business School” for CNN iReport: https://ireport.cnn.com/people/larrychiang
Read my last 10 tweets at https://www.Twitter.com/LarryChiang
Author, NY Times Bestseller
“What They Will NEVER Teach You at Stanford Business School about EUTWMPPM @SXSW” comes out 11-11-14
52 Cards. Two Jokers. What They DO Teach You at Stanford Engineering
Emergency swings and cutting deals as an 9 year old

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