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In The Media

API on. API off. The Curious Case of Arbitraging “Application Protocol Interfaces”

by Larry Chiang on December 3, 2015

By Larry Chiang

This was originally published over at Facebook.

Shopping for credit hurts your credit.

Yup, shopping for a loan hurts your credit score because that is how the system is set up against you. Do not blame the messenger, HATE THE GAME. While I may mix metaphors, this Facebook note I am writing exposes the Game-within-a-game. By game I mean “shopping for a credit card”, ‘shopping for a mortgage’ or [shopping for an automobile loan]. By game, I mean raising your credit score while shopping for a car loan versus the old way where shopping damages.

This offer is good to Facebook friends who have liked at least 20 of my updates 🙂

NOTE: FTC will clarify their ruling but #LarryChiang is not selling or re-selling Experian, Trans Union Equifax credit data. I am merely adding in an email address to Experian credit report data, Trans Union credit bureau summary of you and Equifax’s credit report on you. We at #duck9 are simply adding in an email address after the consumer executes #PObox105281 (a consumer inquiry which does not negatively impact credit score).

API on. API off.
{insert $3.49 paypal button HERE ;-} JK, PayPal the exact amount to my Paypal account, “650-283-8008”. Get it?! You’re two cents short of my two cents [See below for the $3.51}
1. Get a stamp.

/1a/ This involves going to eBay and buying the Pixar stamps for 49c/stamp

1b/ Text me a pic of the stamps.

2. get a #10 envelope

3. get a FTC form that you print out, fill in completely and mail in.

4. photocopy your drivers license or US passport.

5. place the stuff inside #10 envelope and write, “#PObox105281 (extra credit if you use a pixar stamp so they don’t screw with you. Pixar implies youre getting mentored by #LarryChiang)

6. Time. Will. Pass.

7. Get the credit report in the mail.

8. Email me a video of your credit report or snapChat a video of your credit report to @larrychiang on SnapChat.

9. Photocopy your full credit reports

10. Mail the full credit reports to me in Palo Alto so that I can fax your credit report to lenders you are shopping at. Yes, I said Fax. Yes, I am tech savvy enough to speak at tech conferences. Facsimiliation works because American credit laws are from 1970s. Don’t laugh: American stock laws are from the 1930s

11. Text me which lenders fax numbers you want me to fax to.

11a. When you ask the lender, “Whats your fax number?” The lender thinks he’s getting lawyer correspondence or that youre in-the-industry.

11b. When you are under 25 and ask for a Fax Number, you get taken seriously at the car dealership even if you’re an Asian woman in her middle 30s that looks 17 years old

No self respecting car salesman (aka floor whore) gets excited about "an UP" that walks in looking 16 years old No self respecting car salesman (aka floor whore) gets excited about “an UP” that walks in looking 16 years old

11c/ If you bring in your own credit reports from ExpTransFax, that works too. Experian, TransUnion, Equifax.

11d/ See Jeep hack under #cs183creditScore

11e/ See #RuleOf1111

12/ Yes the car dealer will have to pay me $3.51
[insert $3.50 paypal button HERE ;-]

13/ My cell phone is 650-283-8008.
This won’t scale so I recommend you pay the three point five bucks via PayPal. PayPal the exact amount to my Paypal account, “650-283-8008”.

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