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Larry Chiang Helps You Self Fund Housing

by Larry Chiang on June 27, 2014

By Larry Chiang

Self funding a startup falls on general publics deaf ears. It for engineers who know how to sell and code and get distribution only. I said engineering twice and distribution twice because they’re the only important two things
So, if you’re an engineer, this is how you self-fund housing. Yes, I’m mentoring you on how to live rent-free in your early 20s. Let me clarify, this will be a lot of work
I’m guessing 20,000 people will scan this post LOOKING FOR THE ONE THING.
~100 people will bookmark to re-read
I’m guessing 4 dudes will actually print this out and put this on their dorm room walls Treasure Map. This is a lot of detailed work that spiders out into more work.
Reward = hack housing.
End goal: You want to be landlord and tenant.
Ultimate goal: you want to have lenders and VCs beg you to take their money.

Larry Chiang (@LarryChiang)
This is a great patio to eat with your dog or your VC.

Mid tier goal: Hyper inflate your FICO 

John Wooden wanted to put a 22 year olds brain inside a 19 year old athlete. I want to have YOU want to cram a 40 year old dude’s credit score into your 19 year old credit report.
Hyper inflate by adding in positive credit report data. A forty year old born in the 60’s would use Post Office boxes. U should too. U should pattern replicate #31envelopes (it’s a subroutine to stackoverflow TransUnion Experian Equifax with positive credit data)
Yup, HBS called me a credit vigilante
Middle tier goal: Get a six figure job.
As an engineer, we all start work with a six figure job.
Mid Tier Goal: buy something cheap
(House- you’re going to have to get a lot of prospects.)
Car. You’re going to have to own a dependable used car. This is a separate subroutine where you buy the car off a rich dude who just wants to offload the car to you. He just wants a friend. He’s rich and wants you to adopt his car.
Mid Tier Goal #9)
Pre Qualify for a Bank of America mortgage where you can shop for a ~180,000 to 220k house. This house has a PITI payment (payment interest taxes insurance), payment of ~$1,500. You charge two roommates 600+ each. 
[i say B of A cuz they’re the sluttiest :-]
One year job history.
Salary +
FICO score 780.
Long term goal: Be the landlord and tenant for your business.
Paying rent is kinda what every other person does. Being landlord and tenant is where you pay yourself
You are land lord under a legal entity. You are tenant under another legal entity. You own both. This is very common at the upper echelons. It’s 100% legal.
Issues to look out for:
Tenants that don’t pay. Eviction is highly regulated. Learn how to evict well.
Credit qualification is SO EASY. But the problem is that you have to do 650 super easy things. So every Thursday at 11:11am. Weekly. You will do 2-3 things.
Eviction. I can’t stress this enough. Learn the legality. Plus after they deadbeat for 3 months, do all the legal threats. And offer an incentive to movie out.
Hidden off-shoot result: You will get so good (as a 19 year old engineer) 
You will get so good at morphing into a 40 year old’s credit score that in business, you will ‘be a vacation’ to work with. Thus, you will just sell a business for ~300k.
Kids in engineering school are just as competent as 30 year olds in CS. That’s why you make 120k. But a 22 year old kid is annoying and disconnected. You in three years are disconnected to 40 year olds. And you scare them.
Remember in Enders Game, the kid understood his “enemy” to the point that he loved it. That is why he beat his enemy. (go back and rewatch it). Now, we are kinda trying to beat out 40 year olds who make MORE THAN 120k.
Net, net: We as engineers gotta talk and walk and do stuff that 40 year olds do.
Net net, we do not strive to impress our classmates. It’s not high school. We want to impress our accountant.
Note: when you do become landlord and tenant, we wanna lie and say we are just tenant. No one like the douchie 27/28 year old who owns the building. Plus people will wanna mooch or pay late.
Cuz you’re “friends”.
Issue that will blow your mind: Jedi. U see Star Wars? Jedi’s fight with a light sabre. You will be similarly smocked (hahaa Jedi’s wear smocks) for using outdated tech tools
– Printer
– the phone function to talk
– a signicade sign
– sharpie
– hahahaa, you be uploading positive credit data using the technology uplink called “us post office box”*
– HP printer that blue tooth connect to your iPhone 5’s
* Post office Boxes are the Achilles heel of the big three credit bureaus. The four still reading this blog post will realize that in the USA, the laws that govern credit and credit policy are steeped in 1970s assumptions
Jedi’s were near extinct too.
Mind blowing fact: I like Star Wars a lot. But the only character that no one realizes is the hero. R2D2.
Two minutes after landing on the Death Star, R2D2 was networking the Death Star cloud. Instead of controlling the traj compacter to save 7 Jedi’s, R2D2 coulda killed Darth Vader (can’t code) and the Emperor (can’t code either). 
R2D2 coulda killed Darth Vader while he was on the shitter by opening up the vacuum and pulling out his innards while he’s pooping #MindBlown


Wanna meet me or get my info?! Post a pic of R2D2 on Facebook and tag me. All four will??

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