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ProsperAss Funny Movie quotes

by Larry Chiang on August 15, 2011

Larry Chiang scandalously shows granular tid-bits in how to start as an entrepreneur. He edits the Bloomberg BusinessWeek channel “What They Don’t Teach You at Business School”. After Chiang’s Harvard Law keynote, Harvard Business wrote: “What They Don’t Teach You at Stanford Business School“ (its the same title as his NY Times bestseller). If you read his scandalously awesome “What a Supermodel Can Teach a Stanford MBA” and “How to Get Man-Charm”, you will like his latest post:

ProsperAss Funny Movie quotes

by Larry Chiang

“ProsperAss” is a 2014 comedy about three girls at a strip club and accidentally start a loan sharking business. The movie is based on the NY Times bestselling “What They Don’t Teach You at Stanford Business School”.

Funny ProsperAss Quotes: Loan sharking.
Alex: You know what you call a person who thinks getting money at 2% and lending it for 5% a 20% margin
Ashley: No, what?
Alex: An effen genius.

Funny ProsperAss Quotes: Loan sharking.
Ashley: Loan sharking is cruel. It makes you an asstard
Alex: Loan dolphin.
Ashley: You are always talking about your dolphin
Alex: Floggin’ dolphin.
Ashley: You’re SO remedial genius.

Funny ProsperAss Quotes: Pager Humor.
Amber: His number has BooB in it cuz it ends in 8008
Alex: I bet he is an ass man
Amber: 650-283 BOOB
Alex: And there is at “a-t-e” cuz its 2-8-3.
Alex: 650 eat boob.
Amber: Ill let him eat my boob.

Funny ProsperAss Quotes: Dancing

Sheila: “Grinding is the new ballroom dancing”

Funny ProsperAss Quotes: Boobs.

Amber: Boobs-dar engage.
Alex: Approximate loan to boob ratio: 30 to 1
Amber: she can pole dance til she’s 90. she’ll always OWE
Alex: Exactamundo
Amber: Gawd, my boob dar is never wrong.

Funny ProsperAss
Quotes: Business School

Alex:  She went to b-school for her MRS degree
Sheila:  MRS Degree?
Alex:  Yeah, married.
Sheila:  and now can’t get LAID.
Alex: hiLarryASS

Funny ProsperAss Quotes: Slutty

Alex:  “Lost my virginity on a snow day”
Man: Huh.
Alex:  Exit only buddy. My butt hymen is intact
Man: You CANT have a butt hymen
Alex: Wanna bet. You have a butt hymen I am gonna bust it.

Funny ProsperAss Quotes: Roofie

Sheila: “Roofie myself up once is ok but for a relationship, doing it all the time?! Never.”

Funny ProsperAss Quote: Nuts

Alex: Time Value Boobie!
Lawrence: TVB. Its like time value of money but boobies droop and depreciate over time.

Funny ProsperAss Quote: Boob job financing

Alex: BJ Financing
Nick: You finance blow jobs?
Alex: Boob Jobs. BJ financing is boob job financing.

Funny ProsperAss Quote: Speech

Sheila: Life all comes down to a few moments. This is one of ’em.
Alex: What are you doing? Are you giving me, really, the Charlie Sheen speech from the movie Wall Street?
Sheila: It’s applicable to what we’re doing. I’m mean it’s not like I’m going to come up with something better than that.

Funny ProsperAss Quote: accidental dial

Sheila: You butt dialed our investor.
Alex: Literally a back-channel communication

Funny ProsperAss Quote: Part time work

Alex: There is nothing more permanent than a part time job at a strip club
Sheila: you know what they call cocktail waitresses here?! Strippers with small boobies.

Funny ProsperAss Quotes: Vibration.

Sheila: A phone vibrating between my legs is hardly a good substitute for a relationship
Two phones. Both set to VIBRATE. One’s in my breast pocket. The other’s tucked.

Funny ProsperAss Quotes: Register a Domain Name.
Sheila: Cute, all y’all should get that URL. Japanic. Half japanese. half hispanic. Japanic.

Funny ProsperAss Quote: Hot or Not.

Sheila: Ya never go fully retarded.
Alex: huh?
Sheila: Hot or Not. I can haz cheezburger. Zappos. All asian and all went partial retard. you never go fully retarded.
Did you just quote Morton Downey Jr in Tropic Thunder
Sheila: Copy paste baby! I’m mean it’s not like I’m going to come up with something better than that.

Funny ProsperAss Quotes: Jappie.

Jappie isn’t asian. Jappie is Jewish American Princess

Funny ProsperAss Quotes: Booty call.

They call it booty calling. They don’t call it booty facebook wall posting

Funny ProsperAss Quote: Douchebag

All (unison) Never go full douche-bag.

Funny ProsperAss Quotes: Fortune cookies
Fortune u reap is the company u keep

Alex: Did you seriously just stuff that fortune cookie.
Sheila: Like you’ve never stuffed something.

Funny ProsperAss Quotes: Breast Christmas Ever
Sheila: It’ll be the Breast Christmas ever. with a snow day
Alex: Breast?
Sheila: Breast. Christ-Mass. Evah.
Alex: arent you planning ahead.
Sheila: Every year it happens in Late December. Every year I make money doing it

Funny ProsperAss Quotes: Business Name

Alex:  We should drop the ass
Sheila:  you drop acid
Alex:  We should drop the ass in ProsperAss
Sheila:  Just be or Prosperous
Alex:  Prosper
Sheila:  how about “The Prosper”
Then Justin Timberlake can tell us to drop the ‘The’
Alex: Visit and drop other stuff too.

If you liked this…
Larry’s mentor Mark McCormack wrote this in 1983.
His own book came out 09-09-09. It is called ‘What They Don’t Teach You At Stanford Business School

*** BONUS ***
a party invite for you…

This post was drafted in an hour and needs your edits… email me if you see a spelling or grammatical error(s)… larry@larrychiang com

Larry Chiang started his first company UCMS in college. He mimicked his mentor, Mark McCormack, founder of IMG who wrote the book, “What They Don’t Teach You at Harvard Business School”.
Chiang is a keynote speaker and bestselling author and spoke at Congress and World Bank.

Text or call him during office hours 11:11am or 11:11pm PST +/-11 minutes at 650-283-8008. Due to the volume of calls, he may place you on hold like a Scottsdale Arizona customer service rep. If you email him, be sure to include your cell number in the subject line. If you want him to email you his new articles…, ask him in an email :-)

You can read more equally funny, but non-founder-focused-lessons on Larry’s Amazon blog .


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