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What They DO Teach You at Stanford University About Being Chinese

by Larry Chiang on October 17, 2012

By Larry Chiang

Race relations have inflection points just like startups.

Well, after the hilarious Saturday Night Live skit “Tech Talk iPhone 5”, there was zero backlash from any Asian advocate organizations on campus in the 94305.


In the skit, there were white comedians speaking pitch-perfect chinglish. They portrayed FoxConn workers and even played a traditional Chinky instrument pretty darn well (can one of my white friends google this for me and load the answer in the comments). In the 70s, 80s and 90s, Asian groups would’ve protested 90 Rockerfella Center (NBC HQ).

What has changed?!

Honorary White Status 2.o. Everyone in America knows that Chinese people in America speak American better than English people, New Zealand people and Australians.

Sure I’ve perpetuated some of this progress but here is the next inflection point I will catalyze: Helping white people catch up to Chinese people.

As Entrepreneur in Residence (EIR) at Berkeley, I co-founded a secret organization called Caucasian Engineers of America. It’s purpose is to spur enrollment of white people in to engineering school(s).

That is number one. This is number two…

As CEO of my company, I spun out True story…, its slogan: “Be Chinkie and never owe again”. Obviously we all know that a Chinese person has never had a car loan. We pay cash. The “Larry Chiang Duck9 Car Loan Company And Fund” has the mantra to never sell you a second car loan. The first car loan is engineered to get you debt free and off the white person hamster wheel of car loan debt.

Credit is my sweetspot. Number three is another area right in my roundhouse:

Be Chinkie 2.0! Leverage an existing secret organization I started in Palo Alto at 644 Emerson, Asse9 (LINK: It’s pronounced asinine. Asse9 thinks you’re asinine if you don’t own 100% of your own company.

The initials stand for Austin Secret Society of Entrepreneurs, because the coolest Asian people are from Texas because in order to thrive as a Chinese person in high school, you’ve to be whiter than white.

ENGR145’s Anchor Concept: Lemonade and Gua Gua Guacamole

It moves you to the right on the entrepreneur bell curve

CEO of Duck9 Founding Stanford University EIR (Entrepreneur in Residence) Emeritus

Duck9 = “Deep Underground Credit Knowledge” 9 125 University Avenue/ 100 Palo Alto CA 94301 650-566-9600 650-566-9696 (direct) 650-283-8008 (cell)

**************** Editor of the BusinessWeek Channel “What They Don’t Teach at Business School” CNN Video Channel:

Read my last 10 tweets at

Author, NY Times Bestseller

“What They Will NEVER Teach You at Stanford Business School” comes out 11-11-14

52 Cards. Two Jokers. What They DO Teach You at Stanford Engineering

Emergency swings and cutting deals as an 9 year old

########## Duck9 is part of UCMS Inc. 630-705-5555

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